Funeral Planning

There is no one who looks forward to planning the funeral of a loved one who has passed on. The funeral is a process that helps console the ones "left behind" and celebrate the life of someone special. It also is a time of emotional stress, uncertainty, and financial decisions - situations that only heighten the confusion in a complicated time. In some cases, you will be able to consult your loved one's will for burial instructions, and in other cases you will be left with the decision to do what you think your family member would have wanted. You may even find that the wishes of the deceased were not at all what you were expecting.

There are many things to consider when planning a funeral, such as finding a funeral director and service location (deciding on whether a church is the more appropriate option or whether the deceased would have wanted other accommodations), and choosing the date and time. These are the major choices that ensure a place and time for the grieving to gather together and acknowledge the life of their loved one. However, there are more personalized detailed decisions that have to be made. In the grand scheme of things, whether or not you played Schubert's "Ave Maria" may not be important to you, but is it what Aunt Millie would have requested had she been able to do so? Honoring the wishes and personality of the dead is documented by the decisions of the type of casket (or if they chose to be cremated, the cremation urn), the floral arrangements at the service and the flowers laid on the casket before burial, the music, even the clothing that the deceased is buried in.

It is a difficult idea to grasp, when one is mourning a loss, that it should be a time to celebrate the accomplishments and life of the deceased. Funeral planning can also used as a time to transpose one's grief to the happiness of another. For example, if your loved one was taken by cancer, you could choose to ask people to donate money to the American Cancer Society in the name of your loved one in lieu of flowers. It is something that will end up helping others like your loved one and go towards a good cause. Your loved one will be commemorated through a good deed for others. What better way is there to memorialize someone you love?

A last thing to remember while planning a funeral is that many items, especially caskets, are extremely overpriced. There are some less scrupulous individuals in the industry that may attempt to take advantage of people in mourning. Because of this, do not be afraid to ask plenty of questions and shop around while funeral planning. Also, keep in mind that gravestones do not have to be purchased from the cemetery in which your loved one is laid to rest. If you are told this, you should consider another cemetery, unless you have specific instruction from the deceased's will to have the burial at that particular cemetery. The memorial stone is an intensely personal, and long lasting marker for your loved one, and it should not be a decision to be taken lightly. It's best to find a caring company that specializes in memorial stones, and can help you find a stone that fits your budget, and the personality of the deceased. This is also why you may also want to hire a funeral director, who will be an objective person and not affected by the overwhelming emotions.